A millionaire........

Myself and my children have been given the greatest gift you can be given in this life, and she brought it to light the other day. She was talking to me the other day about some things, and observations she has made.....and I won't get into the specifics of it to protect her thoughts and understanding of some things in the peripheral of her life......but suffice to say it led to the awareness again of the enormous gift we have all been given, myself and my children.....and that gift is to have been able to live with truly healed nervous systems......and you may be like what? What does that even mean;-)And I suppose you would have to have had a jangly nervous system, for such a long time, to understand the gift it is to have a calm one......for the last 5 years, myself and my kids have gotten the golden opportunity to live in a peace filled home......nobody raising their voice......no tension.....no egg shell walking......no...........JUST PEACE.......and I do not say that as a roundabout jab to my ex......it was so much of so much, circumstance above all having its say.......but what I will say is that my life has been one that has called me to walk on eggshells often, and for much of my life in one way or another......to be super vigilant about the state of everybody around me.....and work hard not to rock the boat, putting myself on high alert often.......and forever yearning to live in a peaceful place for as long as I can remember.......one where peace reigns over all else.....and as is true with so much, you don't really "get it".......until you live in the contrast.....replacing a space with peace where there had once been chaos.....and listening to her realize that, on her own, and see the gift that peace has been to the both of them makes me want to weep.......it is perhaps the biggest gift I could have been able to provide to them EVER......a peaceful home, seems so simple, but we all know it is anything but.......they also get a happy mom, all of it.....and I mention this again because of the power that is found there, and the things I see working in a school.....where peace does not live in the children I serve.....and seeing my daughter understand so much, and knowing that most households are subject to that lack of regulation.......just because life is.......well life.......and I think it has taken time for all of us to heal......and for our nervous systems to come back home.....and THIS peace that has been given to us, at least to me, feels like being given a million dollars......:) NOTHING more important in my opinion.......And I have dodged bullets indeed since my marriage ended, that would have robbed me of that peace, and my household, and my children's peace......I am sure of that as anything.....people at war with themselves cannot provide peace to others......and cultivating peace......the REAL kind anyway.......takes real work.....discipline.....choosing response over reaction........and I cannot take full credit for the magical energy that I feel exists between myself and my kids.....it just is......A God given gift.....his knowing what our journey would entail and gifting us that to sustain us in such beautiful ways....and it is THE thing I cannot articulate fully.....a little puzzle that makes the time we spend together the easiest time I spend, and my most favorite......and the peace in our home is something I will fiercely protect, always.....knowing that having them both live the past 5 years in it.....has made all the difference in who they are, and who my daughter will grow to be......she will have scars from the rest.....but a regulated nervous system will rise above so much of that......that is for sure.....and my son is highly sensitive to any conflict, even slight and it has been an absolute gift to him too, he has had enough mountains to climb:) And it has been beautiful to watch my girl's own self awareness come into focus, and watch her understand her world so completely and in such a wise way.........we GET TO live in peace,....and it has been an extraordinary blessing to us all! Cheers to peace, and divine protection:) Happy Thursday:) xoxo