How dare you.......

My blogs and their themes come to find me....I don't have to search too far and low. The topic of the day nudges at me like a dog that wants to play fetch......... I truly feel like my soul is speaking to me and freeing parts of myself, and my pain through this vehicle, so I can address it and let it go......so I don't have to carry all this pain and suffering around like a giant suitcase all the days of my life. With each blog I feel a release......a letting go.......a lighter feeling on the other side......Last night was no exception.........I tossed and turned quite a bit and in those fitful moments, the phrase "how dare you" kept coming to me......nudging at me over and over again......so it is definitely on my heart to explore just that..........so here it goes.........How dare you just leave......leave me......leave the kids.......how dare you don't honor the life we have had all these years........how dare you don't respect all I have done for you and all I have been to you......how dare you leave without a thought of all the horror that would follow. How dare you put your needs above all the needs of our sweet and precious little family, especially our children........how dare you lie and deceive me all of this time and make me believe a completely different narrative than the one that is unfolding before my eyes......how dare you destroy our life and literally drop a bomb on all of it......how dare you walk away from the flames and not validate that I am firefighting each and every day........how dare you leave me with all of the hard things and all of the putting back together........how dare you let the poisonous circumstances of your current life affect and cloud your perspective so you can wrap up your old life properly..........how dare you believe the story you are telling yourself without taking any accountability for what you have done and the suffering you have caused........how dare you break Gabe and Madeline's heart........how dare you don't honor our wedding vows.......how dare you take advantage of how loyal I am, how steadfast I am, how willing to go the extra mile I am.........how dare you use that, fall into it, all the while being so deceptive........just how dare you...........The prayer on my heart is that one day when the fog settles, and the senses return, some of these "how dare yous" can be healed and validated, but in the meantime simply how dare you.............