Greener grass.....and predators

I have been following that church guy on trial for murdering his wife because of his relationship with his 25 year old mistress.......the one he met at church.......and it disgusts me when people claim to be one way, hiding in their religion, and then behaving in hypocritical ways......using their rhetoric to hide their truth.....or try......I find it super disrespectful to the beauty of faith, and I believe it is why so many people are turned off from church and religion at the moment, not being able to stomach the hypocrisy they see, and it is sad.....because there is such beauty and truth there if you find the right place and the right people .......but it is an epidemic at this moment.....and so sad......and the Cornell case.....like WHAT??? What are we doing in this world exactly??? And notice at the root of it is women being victimized and harmed.....and that is not dramatic, or too much, it is a fact......I also found myself in this chapter in a brief dating situation that was not OK at all......my feeling like I had been as careful as a person can be when they agree to a date.......and then there was an incident that stunned me, and could have been much worse.....and maybe as I typed all of that, I have yet to really uncover the feelings that came with that situation fully......and I have said often, I do not feel like a victim ever......feeling victimized at certain points, but a victim I am not.....but all of these stories that swirl around makes raising a daughter in this world something indeed........and unfortunately some men are predators.......no other way to put that....and sometimes it seems that perhaps that truth is bigger than those that are not......but at the root of it all, and in so many things I see it is the desire for "greener grass"....causing dissatisfaction with the lawn you are already occupying......I have a neighbor with the greenest and most amazing grass......and I see the care he puts into it to make that so.......and while that is a metaphor that is WHAT it takes......we have grown men, older men, chasing youth in woman after woman after woman.....and family men trying to escape the reality of their family, in an affair that brings temporary relief from whatever they are running from in the first place......and all of it disrespects women.....ALL of it.......and maybe I see it more clearly than ever before, because at certain times in my life my love for myself was not strong enough to keep myself out of situations I should have stayed out of.......luckily never having anything life changing happening but certainly close calls......and it is what keeps me not all that eager to date.....lots of layers to all of that......but until we have a culture of strong, upstanding men, that feel grateful for their families, the grass they have, and seek to water and care for it, we will always have stories like the one in the news......or men that haven't addressed their wounds.....and besides it never ends in happily ever after......ever........I have never seen affair partners ride off into the sunset in life, or in my business........all that deception destroying it all......and in our modern world the pull and temptation is even greater......the next swipe is THE ONE........the next person in your DM, the next___________________instead of being grateful in the place where you are standing......and in the Cornell case all of the boys that knew and DID NOTHING........guy code at its most horrifying.........and I will never allow the things I see, or the things I experience to jade me, I won't.......but what I have allowed is for me to be woken up......I see places so clearly where I have let myself down.....and places I will never travel again......but also things I will teach my daughter......and I see the world has hit a fever pitch in these themes......and women are standing up, and saying NO more, I am hopeful of a new day in the future.....one where this dynamic no longer lives in our culture......that woman in the Cornell case is forever changed.....wounded in ways I cannot imagine......and for what???? It hurts my heart for all of the women that have been harmed in the ways we see swirling about.......and it has been going on for a long time if we are honest......not a new epidemic......it is just that a floodlight has finally been turned on to all of it....so my prayer this morning is that people in relationships, ones that could be amazing if they tended to their own grass, see that so clearly.......and that the culture that has lived in this world for so long shifts, and women don't feel like they need to be so vigilant, and "protect" themselves from anything.......that we raise a culture of men that are grateful for the women in their lives.....seeking to protect, nurture, and love them with a ferocity that shows up every day......not being subject to moments of weakness and temptation.....and that they heal.....from whatever drives them......we are talking about human beings......HUMAN BEINGS........ones that deserve to be treated as such indeed......and my prayer for myself is that there is a man out there that views it all like I do......not having been corrupted by the culture that is social media.....and the illusion of availability, around every corner and click, and the reality of it corrupting the potential for beautiful things.....it is easier to escape accountability in your current relationship then do the WORK, and move on to somebody that doesn't know you yet.......instead of work on what is right there,.....we have work to do as a society too and a responsibility to our girls.....and perhaps as I type that it makes me even more passionate about the work I am doing with young girls:) Laying that foundation sooner..........We need to do better.......we really do......and I will never lose hope that change is possible and a new day will dawn! :) Enjoy the day! xoxo