Complicated much......

Something can be real.......and deep....... and meaningful, and still end badly, and in an ugly light.....and I think that is the hardest part of healing.....if a thing is one way.....or mostly one way, and ends in that way, well then that is easier somehow to reconcile.....but when something is unique and deep......and full of special moments, and then ends with an ugly hue shining all over it, it makes it more challenging.....and maybe it is due to logic, if something held all those pieces then how could the end have been??? And most of the time the answer to that question is of no consequence......the truth, and the writing on the wall made itself known......clearly.....but sometimes our minds play tricks....trying to find an easy way to house something that isn't easy to house neatly.....I am not saying that it still feels complicated to me in my day to day....because it doesn't........my mind has made peace with what I was shown, and the love I held in all places is long gone.....and I have moved on, and am living my life......beyond all of it.....I am just speaking to the piece that I know is hard for a lot of people in my spot.....the reconciling of two truths.....ones that are in such contrast to one another......that is the part that rises up to be seen sometimes......whale sighting if you will.......like did that really happen?? And the other piece is that we often SEE life from our perspective and when we do not understand what we are being shown, or incapable of that sort of thing then it becomes this foreign thing to try and understand.....or reconcile......as understanding doesn't often come that way....so when it comes I give it space to breathe.....and lean into my understanding of my reality.....what I lived in.....what I gave......what I experienced at the time......and know that you cannot control what people do or not do, no matter how much you love for them, or how much care you show....so that is all.....just letting the valve open a little this morning, giving this air.....so many of my clients feel this, and I am giving it a voice again.....it is the complicated piece....today finds me on my summer vacation!! My daughter has an appointment this morning and then I am going to take advantage of the clouds and get my lawn mowed.......and excited to catch my breath some:) Let summer begin:) Happy Wednesday:)