What drives me..........

I have had quite a few people ask me this question........in a more or less sorta way........and it got me thinking about what it is that truly drives me........that makes me do the next thing that I need to do to move forward as I travel this journey.....and I think the requirement of me is the complicated part.....what it asks of me in the day to day sometimes........... but the reason I feel so driven may not be all that complicated at all........obviously the main one is my kids.......and doing anything and everything to ensure that we will be just fine.......but also there is one thing I have carried in my life.......the entire way............ is my strong belief in the fact that the world is a better place than it is an awful one.......a more beautiful place than it is ugly.......a more perfect place than it is broken......a place worth living in......thriving in..........than it is a place to give up in.........so turning to that notion every time the darkness threatens to creep in is what drives me.......the belief in me that somewhere along the way, the sun will shine on my face again in its full glory........the clouds will part and the blue sky will return, and I will be able to close my eyes and look up and feel the full understanding, the understanding that trudging through the storm was all worth it......every single step........so when I run on the treadmill it is that thought that leads me.....when I type the words in this blog it is that thought running in the background.......beckoning to me......calling to me.........letting me know that hope and faith is all there is in this life........and those two things are all you need really.......to believe in what you can't see.......what you cannot yet touch........the other thing that drives me is my belief in thriving, thriving in the face of adversity....... and that that is where my power lies.......I have lost so much power in my life in such a short amount of time......lost all of my false sense of control........... lost all of it.......but one piece I can control is how I travel.......what parts I fiercely grip onto and what parts I use to propel me into that future sunshine filled day.........lately there are way more days filled with sunshine already......the stormy days are few and far between............. and I owe my belief for that........my belief that tells me that if you just believe.......if you just get gritty enough.......if you do the brave stuff even with your knees shaking, the universe will reward you........God will shine down upon you and recognize your fighting spirit......and the strength to endure will come.......and the belief that it can't rain forever......"all storms run out of rain".........a wise man once told me that......never forgot it.......and it feels absolutely true.......the belief in the fact that maybe my story can touch another's life is also something that keeps me moving.......you never know who is watching.....who you are inspiring.......just by your existence.......who needs a lift in their darkness.......so I just keep going........keep moving.........keep pushing myself.........to do.......to be......to hope.......to love......to keep the faith.......to keep imagining that day.......when the sun shines down.......and the awareness comes.......that it has all been worth it.........can't wait:)