Shame and Embarrassment

I did a part two video on this yesterday.....I often have people share their secrets with me....and I think one of the reasons for that is that I do not gossip about them....or share any of it.....their secret settling in, and safe with me.....but also it is because I do not judge.....I have said it before, the only thing I do judge is mean spirited stuff, or a lack of kindness.....that one is tough....but I am trying:) But the day to day mess that finds people's lives, and my own, I do not judge.....life is messy......and life is subject to its own energy.....and rhythm.....and sometimes we find ourselves exactly back in a spot we thought we were done with......I have written often about that.....and in that moment, we are not being called to dump more shame on ourselves......I truly believe that.....especially when we have worked to overcome so much.......and shame and embarrassment is something I have not added to the journey I have been walking.....consciously just not.....when my ex left, there was a point early on, that I felt discarded some....devalued.....but it did not make me feel ashamed.....it just made my heart hurt......shame might be the most futile of our emotions....and the most dangerous.....when we bring shame into the mix it paralyzes us and makes things so much worse......I do not shame my kids either....I work very hard not to do that.....because no matter the lesson they are learning, or the one I am trying to teach them, shame will not help.....it just won't....so as I sat here a year ago being played for a fool again, not knowing it at the time.....that doesn't make me feel ashamed.....at all......I moved in good faith.....and my end was clean with him.....truly thinking we had a chance to build a life, until I didn't......so why add shame to the mix?? Or why feel embarrassed about another person's actions? Ones I had nothing to do with?? We take on so many things that are not ours to hold.....adding to the burdens we carry.......and so if you are feeling either of those things....please try not to......you are a human, having a very human experience! And giving yourself grace matters.....the same grace you extend to others......and I mean that so completely! And unless you are living under a rock you have seen the memes about this day ending the snake year.....the shedding of a part of us that had to go.....and this next year is the fire horse.....and today is the final day of the old......tomorrow's solar eclipse ushers in the new......and whatever your beliefs.......that is a lovely idea.....I can say that most people I know have had a story line that was like shedding......and I feel ready......ready to step so fully into whatever story I will be walking in......leaving behind old energy.......old stories that won't replay.....and as I sit here reflecting on where I was last year this time last year......it is AMAZING to me the change and growth that has found me, kinda unbelievable.....like a completely different life....and each time I feel as if I have changed and transformed so completely......then it happens more, and again lol:) And I am here for it.....willing to meet the new woman that emerges each time......so know that whatever you have walked through......it is OK:) Don't feel ashamed.....please.......you are here to learn.....sometimes more than once.....digging deeper into the lesson......and one day you will find yourself on the other side of a lesson for good, I promise:) Happy Monday! Enjoy this final year as we step into the new lunar year tomorrow! And give yourself love for what you just walked through.......you deserve it:)