Respectfully.......I don't care....

I think for people, but maybe even more so for women, aging comes with a newfound sense of freedom......the people pleasing cages we found ourselves in as young women, have been unlocked, and the doors are wide open....inviting us to step out of them and live free......and not be subject so much to what people say or think....and finding that level of freedom is......well.......intoxicating......and well respectfully I don't care anymore......not about the stuff that doesn't matter anymore, not about the draining stuff.....if people want to show up in a way that is exhausting, I am not here for that anymore.....AT ALL.....I don't care about doing the things that I told myself were the "right things to do" but really just draining my life and peace anymore.....I will always take the high road....that is true.....but I will remove or distance my energy now from places where I do not belong.....and that shift is palatable....like I said it took me a LONG time....50 years to get here.....but I am here:) Not subject to nonsense.....anymore....or as much as I am able.....I will never not be ME, but I used to believe my compassionate heart had to be involved to my detriment in futile places.....and well I know now that isn't true.....my peace matters.....my joy.....my mental well being.....all of it....and there are places in my life where I have to find some common ground due to the circumstance, relationships I must maintain.....but I do not need to bleed myself dry for others anymore.....I have found that leaning in to my own energy, particularly lately is the best approach....observe what happens.....don't react......let it be, and keep showing up as myself, and it all seems to work out.....becoming a magnet to attract what is for me.......Tonight is my birthday party!!!.....and I have created magic in my yard.....my favorite thing to do...;-) All Taurus and Venus ruled and all;-) And as I looked at all I have built and maintain on my own, I cannot help but feel proud of the woman I am becoming more and more.....hustling so hard to live the life she wants to live on her own, and providing the best life she can for her kids as a single mama........humbled and grateful to live in such a beautiful place as 50 rolled on up........and shedding the weight of other people's opinions and thoughts about my life..........I have learned that you can be wildly loving, giving, and loyal, and people will still turn on you, and think what they think,........so you might as well live your life, your way, with abandon, and let the cards fall as they may.....I am so blessed too....my parents worked so hard, and spent so much to make this party special....and I am so grateful.......we all hustled to make it happen:) And at first I wasn't sure if I wanted a party.....but then I thought of what 50 means to me....and it for sure has been sort of a profound stopping place....thinking of all has happened to arrive right here....and it felt apropos to celebrate....I am sorry I could not invite all the people I wanted to.....the list could have gone on and on.......you sure do know, and love a lot of people by the time you are 50;-) but I had to draw the line in places.....but I trust the universe and the divine implicitly, and how it is landing is exactly how it is supposed to, with who it is supposed to.....and well.....that is magic! I got up earlier than I should have today, considering how long this day will likely be, but there is still some stuff to do, and well I was too excited to sleep:) Ready to party indeed:) xoxo