Permission to speak freely??

This week has been intense......many things having their say.....and ultimately who we have in this life is ourselves.....and I do not say that to diminish the power and value that lies in our friends and family.....that support and love is deep and wide, and a gift.....but ultimately when the rubber hits the road, and you are facing a mountain, it is you.....standing there looking up.....and our own expectations of others, to see us, to hear us, to support us, can be where our disappointment or sadness can lie if we are not careful...... We cannot expect others to feel what we do.....until they have been through what we have.....but even then it is not the same.....we are all on our own journey......with a tapestry of our own experiences in tow......and sometimes the people we wish would understand us the most, just don't.....and railing against that only brings suffering......many times I have been asked to stand up for myself, and for my rights in this chapter, my peace.....breaking old cycles.....ending them for the future of my own children.....and it takes conscious work to do that.....and people have lots to say about lives they have not lived....that is the truth.......and as we age some wisdom steps forward....I am not the same person I was in my 30s.....or my 20s......and likely not the same person I will be when I am in my 50s......we change, we grow, we evolve......all based on the things that find us.....but one thing we need to give ourselves permission for, is to FEEL.......to feel what we do and honor that.....no matter what anybody else thinks or doesn't.......However alongside that I do feel that we are responsible to not allow those feelings to drag us under.......making sure we are actively pursuing our healing, and movement, but we are allowed to feel how we do, and we really do not need to justify it to a soul.....it is our own.....and feelings are not facts.....this is also true.......but they are our own, part of this human condition thing:) And as my son's graduation approaches....feelings abound....many I am alone in......and I am working to navigate it all.....while keeping my treasures in tact......and my boundaries in tact as well.....I am finding as I grow and do not show up as I always have it disrupts other dynamics.....and causes other things....and sometimes the "work" is for other's to do....I have done a tremendous amount of therapy and work in the last decade.....but particularly the last 7 years....and the marriage counseling I had been doing, while not saving my marriage was like insurance:) It was something I was building, a savings account of sorts to bolster me when the explosion happened......having already worked on me, and helped me better withstand what came.....and so sometimes I guess we wish the people around us would do their work too....and sometimes the work seems so overwhelming.....so many dynamics at play, all of the time......but ultimately we are only responsible for us....alone....as I said above.....responsible for ourselves, no matter where we are.....and trying to expect people to understand us, and feel the things we do, is fool's gold.......I do my best to always put myself in another's shoes.....and lead from empathy and kindness as much as I am able, but ultimately I don't know what people go through fully either....I can only make them feel heard and seen the best I can, without hurting myself.....so many layers peeling away these days:) One layer of the onion this week so to speak;-) As for today though, my sweet boy has prom:) So hard to believe! :) Excited for him, he is so excited:) Happy Friday:)