Mad Love!

In the wake of my divorce the grief of losing my family of four nearly swallowed me whole....like ALL consuming, and hurt like hell......because all I wanted my whole life was to have a family......that was it......the only thing that I put on my radar as a MUST, the rest was all gravy.....and when I had achieved that.....a husband, a son, a daughter.....well what else is there....and so to watch it be destroyed was excruciating.....however there was a plan:) One beyond my vision at the time......one beyond my wildest dreams actually.....and that was that our family unit was supposed to close, taking up his spot, and grow closer in ways that are hard to articulate.....my kids and I are a vibe indeed:) We have such kindred energy, and we just GET each other......in a way that is so special, and makes me weep if I speak of it too often:) We have the most fun together, and the most fun when it is just US......and it was a special gift left for me in the aftermath of that.....I have come to believe that nothing gets taken away without a window being open, to find something else.....and we have.....just this fierce and mad love.....and yesterday my daughter had a friend send her a video that was mocking her brother some.....and I am going to give the other party the benefit of the doubt a bit, and believe it wasn't well thought out.....but my girl doesn't play, when it comes to her brother, and neither do I, and she was instantly provoked and furious.....and hurt....more hurt than anything....and she instantly chose her brother......it wasn't even a question......just this fierce and mad love for him.....she even said that to him, do you know how much I love you, I will always choose you over anybody :) And the peace it brings me to know that they have each other alongside me is priceless........and her loyalty for him and his for her is FIERCE.....and I speak often about the fact that I have not had loyalty returned to me in romantic love....ever....but I certainly have in the love I share with my kids.....they are made from the same stuff I am and we GOT EACH OTHER in every sense of what that means.....and watching her struggle hurt my heart, but seeing her rise up, and choose the right thing made me beam with pride....I know that I am deeply bias, as they are mine.....but BOTH of my children are wildly special in ways that are hard to articulate and cause my heart to swell often.....and I am humbled that I was entrusted with them to journey with.......their love fills all my cracked spaces, no question......and their love is more than enough:)