IT showed up!!!!......

Yesterday was our final day here, and the older folks took off in the morning due to some pressing things they had to tend to.....leaving the younger crew and me lol:) We hung round.....my kids and I took a walk to town to get some fresh air and exercise, and grab some coffee for the house.....then I offered to watch the littles so their parents could go out for awhile and enjoy....remembering so fully how challenging it is to be a young parent and vacation with littles:) So the afternoon sorta stretched lazily and the weather improved hour by hour, wind dying down.....my remaining grateful for those first three sun drenched days:) And then after dinner we spotted the light shifting outside, and came outside to be absolutely dazzled by nature and magic in all of its glory.....a double rainbow over the sea....and a breathtaking sunset......one that got better by the minute, and we all soaked it in.....on the dune deck......and well.....it felt fitting after this week in so many ways....being reminded of the many rainbows I have witnessed after the storms in my life, and the realizations that found me this week too, but it also felt fitting as I wrote about magic and the hanging onto it yesterday......hoping I always have a place to wield it.....and then having magic shared with me last night at sunset......and I suppose the most important part of magic is to have your eyes peeled for it....always and continuously.....on repeat.......and then there it is:)

I have been catching that horrible story in the news Caleb and his affair and the murder of his wife.....and all of their text messages read aloud, and it brings back so much of so much.......understanding the dynamics that happen within affairs and what needs to be said about the other spouse to make it justified or fit etc etc.....and I have only caught bits and pieces and I swear it is connected to what I just wrote about the sunset and rainbow, stay with me;-)....it reminded me that there is precious energy we get to use in this world....energy we must protect......energy we decide how gets used......and having lived in such contrast......having used my energy in places that were futile.....places I did not belong in and places that drained my energy.....or worse yet invited energy I did not like, witnessing the splendor in the sky was a reminder of the gifts or blessings that show up when you protect that energy, and use it for light filled things.....and as I said I hold some regret for how I used some of my energy in the past and regret is futile.....nothing to be done about it now.....except to alchemize that time by focusing so fully and completely on how I use my energy moving forward........always.......and chasing light, love, and rainbows with my children on repeat:)......and staying out of dark places, or places that diminish the light.....magic and light has been my guide.....leading me forward....and watching that news story reminded me of some of the darkness I lived in at the end of my marriage.......obviously not nearly to that degree.......but those things do hold heavy energy for sure, and will swallow you up, and both that man Caleb and his mistress hold deep regret now, you can see it all over their faces.....trying to escape or live away from whatever drove them together, and the details have yet to emerge.......I guess it all just made me feel really blessed......blessed to be out by the water, and bear witness to all of it.....grateful for the strength and the divinity that was given to me to endure it all, and the call to chase light and purpose, and freedom, with abandon.....just the deep soul kind of gratitude filled me up last night as I watched nature and the divine show off:) It was pure magic.....and a perfect way to end our trip......I will be happy to be home again by day's end, no matter where we go, there is no place like home, and will work to get us organized and back to life tomorrow for work and school, carrying a nourished spirit into it all. I am a blessed human and that fact is never ever lost on me, and I am humbled to get to live THIS life on the other side of it all, every single day:) xoxo