Hey, I knew her too.........

So I think anybody that has experienced deep and life changing transformation in their lives, or some kind of life changing event, or events, would express that it feels like there is the "before" them and the "after" them and almost like those lives are two different ones, and that they are not part of the same story......I am not sure what that is psychologically, but it has been true in my life, and I have heard clients express the same to me......but this week I was shown a place where maybe that is not all that fair......and I think the injustice in that, it negates who we have always been to some degree........discounts it in a way that is not fair at all......because in my experience, my transformation has very much felt like death and rebirth......and the before can become dismissed in my mind so often due to clarity and understanding that has arrived in this new chapter.......but the truth is I lived a whole life before now that mattered too in some big ways.....and I am understanding that I need to integrate that better, if that makes sense?? I think attaching to the new and safer spaces I have created for myself, has made me feel better and safer in this world, and is certainly where I identify these days, and so I do not spend so much time honoring who I once was in my mind, but she was just as WORTHY......and doing the best she could with what she was given.....and deserves a bigger place in this story too......so this week, I had a woman reach out for coaching........we had walked in each other's lives before I got married.......spending a decent amount of time together under a specific circumstance......and for her privacy purposes, I won't elaborate on that, but we got to know each other pretty well......and then as life is, we sort of faded out from each other's experience, until now......so she experienced the me of 20 years ago.......and we did our consult last night, and she shared some lovely things about me.....that she always found me to be authentic, and that we had deeper talks, and that you don't get to always do that with another person, it is rare......and that I was always one of her favorite people to chat with because I was so real.......and I loved my time with her too, she has the BEST laugh and we used to laugh till our sides hurt, my remembering that and her big beautiful smile all of the time, and when I got off the phone with her, there was another layer that hit me.......so many of the places in me that make me feel like me, have existed most of my life.......and were received by those people I walked with, and remembered with fondness, and I guess because there was so much trauma in the moments of impact, that it sort of washed some of that awareness away for me.......my forgetting that despite feeling like a brand new person in a lot of ways, I am not, and that that is a good thing......I still hold the things that are inherently me amid the integration I have experienced, and the evolution......I have always been ME......and maybe it is a step further......I have been me in places that have allowed for that......and it has been my romantic relationships that have played some of those other things for me, but I still was me with them too......and my friendships and acquaintances have been so much of the same energy forever and ever.....and so when I got off the phone last night, I realized that I need to honor the me of long ago in my mind as much as I do the woman that fought through all of that stuff. She was just as important and worthy and all of it......and I think it is important for us to have people that mirror who we were to us......previous versions......helping us to remember the core of who we have been, despite the storms that have found us......and so this morning has me honoring all of the versions of me that faced what she had to to be sitting here.....and I guess it also made me think more about the power in the impact we make in other's lives......we are always, each and every day, whether we are meaning to or not, and we need to remember that, and be conscious of that.....I talk to my 4th graders about that a lot.....I always tell them that they will end up at a High School reunion one day, and when they enter the room, the people in that room will have an instant impression of them based on the decisions they make today, in my classroom, are they kind? Are they the bully? Are they nice? Mean? All of it......and no matter what they do in their adult life those impressions stick.......not sure they get it lol:) Because they are 9 and 10 so......but they listen, and I see some wheels spinning, I tell them each day is a new day to write a new story......crafting the impression they want to give to the world......the legacy we live for our people matters.......and how we live in the memories of the lives we touch! Happy Tuesday! Make it a good one:) xoxo