Guess we a staying! ......

I spent yesterday beautifying my space even more, and keeping promises to myself.....been going hard after protein.....calorie deficit, and steps amid my workouts.....and have been successful.....that is the magic of intention, what you focus on grows......simple really:) Even if we all struggle sometimes;-) ......so I mowed.....and I have a good amount of stain leftover from when I stained my deck a couple of summers back, and so I touched up the shed ramp, it was all peeled.....and some spots on the deck......it looks sharp.......and the kids hung with me, and helped, and it was a lovely day for us.....and then we headed to Lowes for some stuff we needed.......and some stuff we didn't lol:) But it made me feel like I will be here for awhile......and it is OK.....I see myself here for at least another 5 years or so........this is OUR home.....the ghosts of the past long since gone....and I guess for a long time I had hoped to be able to move.....to start over.....a place my old life never touched....but it never seems to be the thing that makes any sense.....especially amid the housing market and rents.....so I have spent a lot of energy and resources to make this house feel like my own, and speak to my new life.....having it not resemble so much of the old.....and spending lots of time tending to it......and I think yesterday it struck me again how really beautiful it is....and I always feel blessed that I am able to keep it for us.........and this house looks and feels so good....and while it is a lot to maintain for one person......it is fine and I am grateful every day to be strong and healthy to do just that......and it keeps me active and young too:).....I would love to redo the bathrooms at some point, and modernize the front......I have plans for that:) But I have painted and done so much and have some more to do.....but the outdoor space here is lovely too.....and my kids love it......it is their home above all else.....and feels that way to them......I know I won't always be in this house.....that is how I feel so fully......but I do think it will be a little longer than I had originally thought.......and yesterday I guess that realization hit me as being more than OK.......I have organized my basement, garage, and shed this summer......purging some more stuff.....but having more to do.......hoping a dumpster is in the future in the fall when it isn't so hot.....it is funny there is one view of this place that I just love......gets me every time, it is when I walk around the front of the house, and my vision hits the woods and my pretty shed, and the way the yard slopes just right....and all of it, it all hits me, and then my deck:) My happy place indeed, so I guess I write this to express that I realized I was sorta in and out about some of it......holding off on doing some things because my subconscious was feeling a move sooner than I think it will be........so with that......some painting has to be done inside, some freshening up. I have a bar set in my yard that has been with me for 30 years.......it was a gift from my first serious boyfriend when we lived together.....it was Martha Stewart, from KMart......remember the stuff there:) And it has lasted the test of time in so many ways.....and my girl and I picked up spray paint to give it a facelift......I can't justify pitching it because it is in perfect condition......sturdy as hell lol:) hats off Martha ;-) so yea the bug got into to me to do some more projects.......and this place makes sense for the kids and I now......I had thought about selling and renting but why......I may as well pay the higher price toward my mortgage versus somewhere else.....and part of me even feels I could keep this as a rental property even if I move along at some point......still having my lake house in my sights.....and hustling my way there......but in the meantime allowing myself to fully drop roots here......for now:)