Acclimated.......

To acclimate to something is to become accustomed to a new climate or new conditions......and that word spoke to me....and I was thinking about the situation that resides between my ex and I, and the state of our co parenting and communication.....or lack thereof really.....and I have acclimated to all of it in every way.....adjusting to make it work...but there is this piece that is challenging for me, and I finally put my finger on it.....it is the fact that I can't be me in the situation, authentically so, and I have had to alter my true nature to fit into it all....and that is the part that still speaks to me....I can show up as me in some ways.....by choosing some things over others....but I cannot behave like Jenn as it pertains to that situation at all....there is no room for her, or her ways in the lack of function in it all....and it is hard to feel that way....to feel like one part of your life is not authentic when the rest finally is....and maybe that is part of my New Year work to do.....to show up as me in that situation too....and figure out how to do that for the greater good.....being acclimated sometimes as I think of it now, can lend itself to complacency perhaps.....lulling you into status quo, and taking the intention out of it all.....so perhaps that is what I think should change.....learning to become more intentional in it all.....and finding a way......so far the new year has had a hum of ideas and intentions for the space that is about to lay out before us....and I keep reading so much about how this year will be such a year of change.....for us all in every way.......and change used to be something that I wrestled with immensely......wanting desperate to hang on to the order and predictability of life....and panicking if things suddenly changed.....and then my entire life fell apart.....during a pandemic.....and well....salvaging the pieces of the old life was not possible....and all I had was to put them back together a new way.....acclimating to the new.....so change doesn't scare me anymore, in fact I kinda dig it now:) and so I am ready for the change that finds my life this year and beyond.....realizing that the changes that found my life, have been paramount to my evolution, and to my ability to have this new life......so as I have written of my New Year changes and intentions I plan on implementing....showing up more like me in this scenario is in order....I am not sure what that will look like or be.....but change needs to find this too.....amid all the rest! Happy Monday:) Enjoy the day:)