Next level stuff.......

One of the things in this chapter I have come to learn about myself is that I have the ability to have people FEEL me, my heart, my sincerity, my authenticity......ALL of it....and from some talks with people that have known me in the before and now that has always been so.......I guess I didn't see it before in myself......and when I was at my girl's night on Friday we engaged in side splitting laughter......all of us having a similar sense of humor, and vibing, and laughing hysterically........ but there was one moment, that for me felt healing........and I cannot tell you how it all came up, but it was a natural part of it all.....and I shared the pain of not feeling seen in my marriage and feeling so alone in that etc......running faster jumping higher and feeling villainized for it, and part of that realization I understood better last week and expressed here.....andI shared some of the pain that was there, and in the aftermath of my divorce, about my little girl, who was so small and mighty then, looking in my face every night wondering if her dad was coming home, leveling us both night after night....... and one of the girls that was there was one that I haven't hung out with too much......and for the first time I felt them all not only hear me and have what I was saying resonate but I felt them FEEL it.....it was hard to explain, and my one friend reached over and grabbed my hand and held it as I talked with tears in her eyes too....and they all looked at me with such understanding and compassion, and emotion in their faces, and maybe really fully understanding some of the magnitude of it all for the first time in a real sense??.....And it was really a small blip in our night, not hijacking our fun at all, and we had perimenopause jokes to make lol:) I mean c'mon......And of course men, teaching, mothering all of it:) But it was powerful to connect to a place in me that could articulate a wound in a way that hit fully....and then more was shared from the other women, and it opened up a space of healing and sweetness......so that was my experience of it right?? I could have been totally wrong, maybe I overshared and made everybody feel weird, who knows right lol:) And I half joke because most of the women there I have known and been connected to forever, so I know they know me, from my old team:) And didn't feel that way.......But then yesterday I was getting ready for work....my phone lighting up, and it was one of the women from Friday......I have worked with her for 20 years, always liked her, but haven't hung out with her outside of work too often.....and we have recently found ourselves connecting in places within work, and finding a kindred energy there and fun, so I was glad to get to connect and hang out.....and she shared in the text yesterday morning that she was so glad we finally hung out, feeling we have lots in common, and that she enjoyed my company, appreciated my sense of humor, and felt inspired by my strength......and it was lovely that she shared that, I loved hanging with her too finally.....and this might sound woo woo and stuff lol:) BUT, I believe that whatever I tapped into in that room on Friday is the key to my next chapter......speaking to people, it has been on my radar forever......and finding a way to even more deeply convey my message, in a way that resonates in a deeper way, a way that can be felt in a deeper space.......it felt like tuning a radio......and the radio station is coming in, and you are singing along, but then you gently move the dial a hair and it comes through crystal clear......that is how it felt.......and it is just an instinct I feel......and it was a powerful moment for myself too.....so it felt good to have confirmation that it was received in the way that I felt that it was......by somebody that hasn't been here for the story all along and confirming my read on it all too......I think that is what has been happening divinely for me lately.....I have been experiencing life with more clarity and then getting very specific and clear feedback that that experience is true:) And clear......and what a gift:) So last year I felt I was standing at the beginning of a new chapter.....and this last year was certainly that.......the beginning of I Got YOU Girl......and deep and cathartic growth that was 50 years in the making.....and so much more, new depth, travel, fun, and mothering, and new 5th grade beginnings, all of it:) So as I make my way to 2027, it feels the same.......like I am standing on the brink of a new chapter......in the truest sense......having this year transform me some more for what is behind that door:) And I am here for it.......listening and being willing to go wherever I am called to:) Hearing that call loud and clear........Happy Tuesday:)xoxo