MY needs.......

They have changed in the last 4 years.....in big ways.....in my old life I don't feel like I consciously thought about anything I "needed"......happy to bounce along, and try and be a good mom, and wife, and feel loved from time to time.....and then as the end of my marriage neared, I started to voice my needs amid all the rest of what was going on.....and that was met with resistance, and they didn't get met.....and then he left, and I started meeting my own needs....all of them.....and realizing I could....mostly.....and it was so intoxicating and amazing for me.....learning what my needs were specifically, and doing my best to meet them.....and then as I restructured my circle, and kept some old friends, and made some new ones, and lost some along the way......I realized what I need from the people in my life now....and that is clear in my heart.....and it is what I seek when it comes to romance or friendship.....and it isn't negotiable anymore.....I think when you fight so hard for it all, it becomes more precious, and you realize maybe more clearly the places where it isn't being met for you....and it is one of the things I feel passionate about in my coaching.....is helping people that maybe haven't had an earthquake come into their lives....or maybe they have too....but helping them discover what it is they NEED.....and I think needs maybe get a bad rap.....I know for me, being as independent as I always have been, I have been guilty of viewing people with lots of needs as needy and ick lol:) And I mean that in a joking way.....but I have never identified with nor wanted to be a "needy" woman.......but there is a flip side to that......especially as it pertains to love, and becoming too self reliant....and I recognize that in myself, and am trying to work on that.....I read an interesting thing the other day about feminine and masculine roles.....and how if I seek the perfect balance in a relationship, I would need to release my masculine pieces, and balance the feminine part....and that the more "masculine" energy you present the less somebody tends to your feminine needs......it was all really interesting....and it was one article, so I am not all that sure about any of it.....but I know that particularly now that I am on my own I have developed the stronger masculine side if you will lol:) One that I need to survive now on my own by the way:) So acknowledging my feminine need stuff is still a work in progress:) I will get there.....I know that.....and I never lose faith in the day when all of the things I have been working on, and committed to come together.....and really I guess it all begins in our awareness......my needs did not get met for a long time, and the awareness wasn't there for me to feel that.....or even stop to acknowledge it.....autopilot.......and so I do not seek to be on autopilot again.....being discerning.....and working toward getting these needs that I have finally acknowledged met! And perhaps I am on my way to doing just that:)