Icky Vibes.......

Disappointment is is an adjective that describes feeling sad, unhappy, or let down because your hopes, wishes, or expectations were not met........ And part of me almost doesn't even believe in the concept of disappointment.....or maybe let me clarify that.....part of me doesn't believe we should allow ourselves to be disappointed by other's actions......because we are all on our own journey right?? Subject to our own stuff? Doing our own things, and fighting our own battles.......I truly believe that and have deep empathy and compassion for it all, and so allowing disappointment to come to the party seems futile.......not worthwhile......because I have learned expectations are at the root of all that is wrong.....when we expect somebody to behave in a certain way then we are subject to disappointment.......and we are perhaps even being unfair some......because what should another person be expected to do really???? So many layers......except that as of late.....maybe the last two weeks more than in awhile, I have felt deep disappointment in a few directions, and situations......and I can't help it......and the things that are causing that feeling are not small things......they are worthy I suppose....... if anything is, of disappointment......but then what right??? Where does that leave it all.....nowhere......futile spaces....and the truth is when it comes to my kids I do not think there is anything they could do to make me feel disappointment......except maybe be mean to somebody or cruel......and my bar is decency.....in all ways.....expecting a person to be decent......that's it.......high lined.....loyal.....honest.......and decent.......and so I guess the Universe has taken me on a little tour to quite a few places where that hasn't been so......as of late.....and it all piled up on me yesterday.....and I got to my fed up spot.......saturation of disappointed vibes....maybe some incredulous mixed in......low vibin, and it made me feel icky some.....icky vibes all piled up and stuff.....and that is on me.....allowing it to get in....and I am human.....that is true.....and I do my best to use the wisdom of the lessons I have learned to "do life".......and particularly navigate these kinds of spaces but ultimately I am subject to human stuff.....on repeat......and in this case disappointment is present......no way around that......and I am working to change that some as I feel the feels related to the situations I have encountered.....because the thing is, they are sorta the same energy manifested in different scenarios......which is curious to me.....and of course has me exploring the why behind it.....patterns call for such examination indeed........and I do not believe there is one reason present in these stories that I have in my mind......no central theme......so maybe it isn't up to me to be disappointed in them.......at all.......and maybe reconciling THAT FEELING is the work.......because feelings are not facts.......valid yes.......but facts no.......and when I get to this place, the place of saturation......I know I am being called to shift the focus back to my own life.......an stay there:) So that is what this week is about........I have some last minute social stuff for the kids and I, hanging with some peeps.......and last minute doctoring......one more morning in my classroom, getting it ready.......and savoring the last bits of summer before the kids head to school in a week, and I head to in service.......I also am continuing to expand my fitness goals and protein....it has been working:):)......I recently added a stepper and a weighted vest to the mix too......and I want to really dial in the time it takes for my workout......in the summer I do a bunch of other stuff while I am working out, and dilly dally lol:) Because I have time......I want to time it all this week and see what time I need to start my workout to make it all work as work takes hold.....and see just like that the other stuff that was icking me out is in the peripheral.......not important:)......did I ever mention that what people do is on them??;-) And that goes for me too! Onward and Upward:) Enjoy your Monday:) xoxo