You do owe it.........

There are many sayings out there that express that "we don't owe anybody anything," and I disagree......not because our relationships are transactional.......but because we do owe the people in our lives something.....and that is our loyalty, our honesty, our respect.......until they prove otherwise........and even then I think we do........I have remained loyal to the people in my stories to some degree STILL.......having a boundary of disclosure that I feel honors that, one I do not cross.......my Nanna used to say "you don't have to tell all you know Jenny"...and she wasn't saying that to me at the time directly, but more as a life lesson rhetoric kinda moment, and I knew what she meant......I have always been honest to a fault......wanting to spill my guts always no matter what.......my conscience also being deep.......strong.......and so often the people in my life experience me in pretty full transparency.......and the longer I live the less I see that in other people......I am teaching my daughter the same......she will be a 5th grader this year, and I am bracing myself for the girl drama that will ensue, and then middle school years yikes....:( I am not ready.......And she operates like me.....in transparency, in loyalty, and in honesty.....we share a lot of that.....and I am grateful I can guide her since we are so much the same and try and impart some of the lessons I have learned ahead of time, and have our home always remain her safest place from all of it.......and those are all lovely things to possess, but also heartbreaking things to carry when most people do not meet you there.....and notice I do not say all, there are some wonderful ride or die people out there, and gosh for me that might be the most attractive thing in a person......their fierce honesty and loyalty.....but I have not experienced it in love......not by a long shot.......and I think that has been part of my quest in this life if you will......to find a match to those things I hold so reverent in love......in fact I know that is how I feel......I cannot even imagine as I typed that, the bliss that would be found in experiencing that in return in love......the ease of not having to wonder or doubt that a person is right in your corner......no matter what......and ironically in addition to never having it meet me in love it was the thing about me that was most taken for granted......my loyalty not carrying any weight.....and just endlessly being trod upon, and taken for granted, like the whole world would offer the same.......and I am guessing perhaps that awareness has found the people that have mishandled that now.......because finding loyalty like mine is not easy......and I do not say it arrogantly at all.....it is truly a matter of fact......I have my people's backs.....anybody that is close to me will tell you that......."I got you" energy all day long.........so I suppose the work to do is to continue to reside in the truth of the fact that people will do what they do.....and it has to do with them not you.......and if you can master that so fully.....and keep your boundaries up, not allowing others to trod upon you, well then.......it is really that simple.....seeking the people that mirror the energy you wish to have in your life.....and repeat and I seek to do that......and despite the light and growth that has found my story and business in the first 6 months of this year......it has been a HEAVY emotional journey.....deep diving and excavating the things that I have needed to to grow.....not an easy run.......and I am hoping the next 6 months of this year are lighter.....and this morning finds me willing to meet the unpleasant chores I have on tap today......packing for our little trip....and looking forward to spending the next three days unplugging and enjoying our time away.....the weather looked fine yesterday where we were headed and I am afraid to look today lol:) But we might in fact be escaping all this rain here.....and if things shift then we will make the best of it.....no worries.....Enjoy this cozy rainy Monday....xoxox