Tangled webs.......

No action or story is an island.......nobody's.......and the lives we live are impacting all of the lives around us every day......whether we want them to be or not, or maybe think they are or not.....and it is all starting to make such sense to me, and clarity is arriving at a deeper level for me about so much.....I had my daughter when I was 40......and right before she turned 5 her dad left, and the first two years of her life were lovely.....her dad and I adored her from the moment we met her......and we were at a happy time in our marriage, enjoying her babyhood a great deal, she was the easiest baby and toddler, and still is:)......our son was doing well at the time, and life seemed right on time....however somewhere around our daughter turning 2 her dad began his affair......and it kicked off the most tumultuous time of our marriage and of my entire life.....and both of my children hold memories of that time, and the turmoil and strife that lived in those days......and then he was gone......and all of that energy left. Having my children not having to deal with certain things very often.....And here is the thing.....as this empowerment workshop chapter begins, it hits me that THIS chapter has as much to do with what I deserve, and what the girls that attend my workshops deserve, but most of all it has to do with what my OWN daughter deserves.......and if my marriage had continued, and he hadn't left she would already be a very different young girl......and our relationship would be very different......she would have watched me compromise my self worth on repeat to keep the peace......or try to........which was becoming more and more difficult......and her respect for me would have diminished, perhaps being replaced with anger and resentment, and she would have learned a whole bunch of things that I would not have wanted her to learn.......and I cannot express enough gratitude that that is NOT the story she has to live in........and I am living in a time where I can SEE what the purpose was of so much .......leading me to stepping through this door and beginning this chapter, I also see that it is likely also meant to shape her life in big ways......help to influence the woman she is one day......her path......her mission......her purpose.....and well.......that makes every ounce of pain, and every tear I cried worth it........worth getting us right here.....to a place where our peace and self respect isn't up for sale.......ever........living a life that feels more like us every day......with an inherent understanding that if another man enters our world, he will honor all of that too........and really get it......not bringing chaos and disrespect to our doorstep, that isn't welcome here, so as I have said I am not naive to think that both my children don't have scars they will live with forever......I have seen their pain in those vulnerable moments.....and it is deep......and heartbreaking truly......but they don't live there, and what lives within them in a bigger way has been their HEALING......having their pain be a small part of their story now......and that matters.......so my daughter will be hanging at my workshops, and taking the journey with me.....seeing me in my element and learning another part of her mom......and gaining what I am hoping to share with other girls too:) Meeting new girls.....and connecting in her own right.......and it all feels SO good.....my passion just burning like a wildfire at the moment lol:) I plan on starting a 4 session coaching adventure of my own with the biz coach that I had met with awhile back, that session I had won very serendipitously ;-) And I love her....she and I are kindred no doubt.....so I have some stuff to fine tune, and I am investing in myself to do that.....because I feel so completely that I am sitting on something that is about to also grow like a wildfire......it feels so ALIGNED to my soul in every single way.......and well....here we go.....we all play our parts in all the stories we walk in......for good......or as a catalyst for change......the kind that needs to happen so we can grow and evolve to right where we were always meant to be:) Enjoy the day xoxox