A very disturbing read........

I am reading "Nobody's Girl,"......by Virginia Roberts Giuffre......and it is a tough read.....she was one of Epstein's victims.......and I bought this book, back in July, when I was stranded in the Chicago airport when I came home from Wyoming........facing the potential of sleeping in the airport, or somewhere else, and deciding if I was going to spend my money, on an overpriced book at the airport book store, I was going to support her story, and the bravery it took for her to write it......and so if you do the math, I have yet to finish it, not because I am a slow reader lol:) ......but because it is a tough read......I can only take it in small doses and have chipped away at it amid the other books I am reading......and today isn't about diving into her story, all spoiler and stuff.......it is to highlight a much larger problem......and her childhood was wrought with abuse and mistreatment which led her to many of the places she found herself in.......and the truth is despite my not having the same story as her at all, not even close, or a little.......and my childhood not holding the abuse hers did, I could still identify with parts of her story......and it takes so little to send the wrong message to our girls......I guess that is what touches me this morning, because I ended up reading some more last night......there is something we do, or challenges that exist in how we model love for girls, or what it means to be a female that can exist in small spaces.......or what should be endured or accepted.....and a couple of things she has said so far in this book got me nodding my head, and understanding her despite our coming from two different worlds......I understand some of how she felt at certain points.....and again, I will reiterate that my past is not like hers......at all.......and so I guess as I see it, the entire women's empowerment movement is SO important in ALL of the ways......and it is my north star as I have said with my own daughter.....I will model the kind of love I want for her, or not at all.......there is no longer gray in that area anymore.......the price is too high......and there is something that happens to girls that makes them believe that they need to suffer in love......accept poor treatment......sacrifice their own needs for the needs of others.......endure stuff that they don't want to......etc etc......and well......it needs to change, and as mothers, grown women, and role models we need to lead the way, I really believe that......so really it just leads me back to my why......my empowerment workshops for young girls is combatting exactly what I recognized in reading her words........and I have known so many women......from all walks of life, varying degrees of problematic pasts........who found themselves in places where they too gave away their power.......repeatedly.....not realizing they had power in the first place......and the reason I shine light on it this morning, is because it is not rare.......it is far more rare to see somebody in a relationship built on love and mutual respect, where the woman is loved and adored, and the man is faithful to her, and do we not find that sad??? Or horrifying??? That respecting women is rare??? I mean take a moment and think about all the couples in your lives......you know the ones that are the real deal, and the ones where the woman is suffering......and this is not a sexist essay either lol:) I promise:) I SEE you good fellas out there, and I love you for your stand up and wonderful ways! And keep showing your sons and young men in your life the way:) But unfortunately there is a large portion of men not like that......and why is that??? That is also a problem......and here is the ouch......IT STARTS WITH US!! We set the tone and bar for it all.....it is why my passion for coaching women to love themselves better is always burning so brightly......because it is in THAT self love, where being treated poorly or with any disrespect cannot survive......it just can't........and it will become intolerable, that is what set me free in my last relationship, I had learned to treat myself so well and his treatment of me was too painful to tolerate any longer, and YOU set the bar on what you accept by the way YOU TREAT YOU! Work to get that bar up higher and higher and watch your life change, and watch the people around you change. :):) And there are times I will remember something that felt "charming" or attractive in my past now ,and it is so off putting and disrespectful, sorta making me sick if I am honest, and in my current perspective it is kinda hard to believe........but at the time I felt it was harmless......and it was the kind of thing I was attracting at the time......and when you know better, you do better.....it is simple really.....and we need not beat ourselves up either.....we can only do as well as we can with current information.....and our current level of growth.....and my "self love" process has been just that......a process......nearly a 6 year one.....and only within the last couple of years has it supercharged to encompass new understanding and a new level of boundaries and self love.....but most importantly self respect, and the kind that changes the future indeed......so today I am speaking to you:) Are you being respected in your relationship?? Like REALLY??? And if you are, I love that for you:) I really do:) xoxo If not, I ask that you to start loving on yourself fiercely, and as often as you can, and see where that leads.......because you are worth it:) Happy Monday! And Happy 1st day of 5th grade for this woman:) BIG DAY:)