Do you really believe that?????......

Our beliefs are important right? The propeller that moves us through this world.....and certainly HOW we do that......and I have had a core set of beliefs that has withstood my evolution......things that have been me forever, and likely will continue to be all of my life.....and that is comforting......something comforting about our beliefs right?? But I have found it is important to not get rigid in what we believe......it will keep us stuck.....or stunt our growth......my favorite thing is when a belief you hold is challenged in such a way where a new perspective is born........the BEST.......and there were so many things I used to believe about love that I don't anymore.....I used to believe if somebody loved you, that love would keep you safe, they wouldn't be capable of deeply wounding you......that the love would keep you safe......I believed in marriage, not divorce......not that I judged divorce at all.......just that it was never going to be for me.....my vows would insulate me from that.........I used to believe that love was fair.....and I could go on and on.......but one belief that had kept me back, and the one that hit me like lightning yesterday, was that something about love had to be hard.......strife present, the price you pay for loving somebody......my feelings being hurt sometimes, or maybe even more often than I want to care to admit......because no couple is perfect right?? But I have been more observant of love around me....and seeing representations of healthy love, and that part is not present.....and I do not think it is happening behind closed doors either.....you can tell in the way people interact with a person they love, the level of safety they feel.....and trust.......and all of it.....and the depth of their relationship......and believing that a lack of kindness in any form or frequency was par for my course makes me sad......it really does......and I do not say any of that to say I was perfect in my relationships, I wasn't......I sometimes felt pushed to my limits too......but I can say that I wasn't initiating those things......much of where I fell down was in the reaction to what was happening, and only after a long time of it all......and allowing me to be transformed into somebody I no longer recognized as a result because the truth is that my natural tendency is to move from a loving place......direct.....but loving, kind, and wanting to get to the bottom of it in a way that preserves everybody's dignity......because I believe in the Corinthians Bible verse.......I really do......and I have not lived that love........YET..........it is patient, and kind, and generous......and loving, and so much more.......and holding that contrary belief, that it had to be a little ugly, and hard at times might seem a small thing to realize, and I have touched on it before......but yesterday what I witnessed brought it in sharp focus.......and brought another layer to it.....which is often the case when a belief shifts......it was the deep understanding that if it isn't like THAT........I don't want it at all.........ever.......simple really.....I am not settling in this life in that area ever again......not settling for less than I deserve or less than I give.......I have walked through hell to earn the right to say that.......and I am not looking for a perfect person......but I am looking for a kind one......one with self control........and levity......curiosity......loving in all the ways.....loyal......honest........gritty.......romantic.......thoughtful......driven......calm.......grounded......you get the idea:) Love doesn't need to be hard.......or hurtful.......or chaotic.......or frustrating.......or any of it.......That belief has shifted for me FOREVER....and it will not be shifting back. Some things lock into a place that FEELS different.....and you know in one moment that you are embodying the lesson completely........and when you know better you do better, that is true.......so I absolutely won't settle and I make no apologies about where I have now set the bar.......I believe the things I want exist because they exist in me......not in perfection but in steadfast and true ways......amen :) xoxo Today finds me making my last minute preparations for my trip tomorrow to Wyoming!!!!!!!!!! And I am so excited for the adventure up ahead! :)